


Love'em and Leave'em

by bringmesomepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bottom Dean, Character Death, Crowley and Feelings, Dean bottling up in emotions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Lost Love, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Runaway, Secrets, Sex, Suicidal Dean, Teen Crush, Top Castiel, Truth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:45:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1908069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a night if passion; pure bliss. It started as a movie night then a dinner at their favorite hangout: Big Gerson. They ended up at his house</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a night if passion; pure bliss. It started as a movie night then a dinner at their favorite hangout: Big Gerson. They ended up at his house. One Castiel Novak house. All of Casitel’s siblings had moved out and his parents were asleep.

It was soft, gentle, loving. It wasn’t supposed to end this way, but he was glad it did. He was fucking his high school crush; Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester wasn’t one to let other people take control but that night he did. They did everything right, except one tiny thing they forgot. A condom.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean in a post sex haze. “I don’t want this moment to end.” Cas nuzzled into Dean’s hair. “I love you.”

Dean hummed in agreement.

Cas fell asleep moments later. He dreamed about like as a openly gay man with the love of his life; Dean. That dream was crushed when he woke up and Dean was gone without a letter or anything. Just gone. Cas sat up in the bed and looked around. Dean’s clothes were gone.

He ran down the stairs to find his mother and father sitting at the kitchen table. “Castiel, care to explain to us why you come flying down the stairs in your boxers?” His mother smirked.

“I had Dean sleep over last night, since he was leaving for college next week. He wasn’t here when I woke up.” Cas mumbled scratching the back of his neck.

“Well, sorry, honey, but Cassy, you know Dean. He isn’t one for goodbyes. You’ve known that for years.”

“I know, but I thought that was going to be the last time I would see him for a while. I thought he would actually say goodbye this time.” Cas looked down at the ground.

“Ok, now, Castiel. You sound like a middle school girl. We all know that you have had a crush on that Winchester boy since you were 6, when you met the boy. You march your way down to the Winchester household and talk to him.” Cas’s father ordered.

Cas darted upstairs and threw some clothes on and jumped into his car and raced over to the Winchester humble home. He pulled into the driveway and instantly knew something was wrong when the Black 1967 Chevy Impala wasn’t there.

He got out of the car and walked up to the door and knocked. John flung open the door. “Castiel?”

“Where’s Dean?” Cas asked.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. He texted me saying he was staying over at your house, then heading to work at 8. He never showed. Dean don’t miss work.”

Cas nodded. “Where would he be?”

“I have no clue, come on. We will shake all the trees we got until we find him.” John stepped back.

They called all of their contacts and nothing. Dean was in the wind. It was late in the night when they finally gave up. Sam had gone to bed hours earlier. “Castiel, stay here for the night. You’re too wired to drive. Make yourself at home like always. I’m heading to bed.”

Cas held his phone with both hand and up to his lips. “This is all my fault.”

**_& ^%$#@#$^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$*_ **

**_9 Years Later…_ **

“Mr. Novak, you have a new teacher who will be joining us when school starts.” Becky smiled poking her head in.

“That’s a little early. School starts Monday.” Cas smiled.

“Well, that’s why I want you to show here around. You have been working here for 5 years. I think you know what’s what. I have other work to do.”

“That’s mighty sweet of you, Becky.” Cas rose to his feet.

“Her name is Joanna Winchester. Her husband and daughter are here with her because her daughter will be starting 3rd grade Monday.”

“Great.” Cas smiled. He used remember his best friend, Dean. He met being people who’s last name was Winchester and would always wonder if one day he would run into Dean again. He shoved that thought out of his head 5 years ago. “Where are they?”

“Mrs. Moseley’s old classroom.” Becky smiled and walked out.

Cas made his way to the 1st grade hallway where Mrs. Winchester would be found. He neared the room and could already hear laughter. He mostly heard the voice of a younger girl. “Daddy, can we get ice cream after this?”

“Depends on when Mommy gets outta here.” He heard a husky man say.

“No, you and Keely need some more father daughter bonding time. I need to get a feel of this place before getting ice cream. I’m probably going to set up the desk and get a good lay out of the place and then look around meet new faces if there are any people here.” A female southern-ish accent.

Cas poked his head in. “Am I interrupting anything?” He asked connecting his eyes to a young blonde haired woman. She smiled.

“No, not at all. Hi, I’m Jo Winchester. I’m the new 1st grade teacher.” She stretched out a hand towards him.

He took it and smiled. “I heard. I also heard you have a daughter that is going to start 3rd grade.”

A bouncing little girl with wavy curly little brown hair and stunning green eyes he had only seen on one other person. “Yeah, she is so excited. She has been dying to start school and make some friends for weeks.” Jo smiled.

Cas looked at the little girl and then at the man standing behind her. The man was very fit and muscular. He wore a AC/DC black shirt and a tattoo sleeve going down his right arm of different ancient symbols and sigils. He had a familiar necklace hanging loosely from his neck and the same stunning green eyes the little girl had. He realized quickly that he was being too quiet and staring. “Oh God, I’m sorry, this is incredibly rude of me. I’m Castiel Novak. I am one of the kindergarten teachers.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Castiel.” JO remarked. “This is my daughter Keely and that’s my husband Dean.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, me and him have already met.”

Jo looked shocked. “I know Dean is from here but he has never told me of you.”

It felt like someone had pierced a blade through his heart. “That’s doesn’t make any sense. We were best friends from 2nd to 12th grade.” Cas smile and shook his head.

“It never came to conversation.” Dean remarked.

“How did you forget to talk about your best friend?” Cas blurted out.

Dean’s face grew serious. “Alright, Kee, let’s go get that ice cream. Mommy has to stay here and learn the school with Mr. Novak.”

“Can I get 2 scoops?” The tiny girl asked.

“You sure can, darling.” Dean lifted her into his arms. “I’ll see you at home, sweetheart.”

Jo kissed his husband as he walked out. “I’m sorry, Castiel.” Jo apologized as she shut the door.

“No, it’s fine. I haven’t talked to Dean in going on 9 years.”

“9 Years?” Jo sounded shocked.

“Yeah…I’m guessing he doesn’t talk about that time period very often.”

“It’s not that…When I met Dean…he wasn’t in a good place. He ran away from his family and friends. He was terrified to come back here. I didn’t even know he was from Lawrence, Kansas until I got the job here and we decided to take and move here.”

Cas nodded. “How long have you and Dean been married?”

“Married 5 years but together right around 9 years.”

Cas was holding the urge to cry in front of this woman. “Well, it’s good to meet you. I just wanted to pop in and say hey. I’m just down in my classroom in the kindergarten hall and if not there I’m probably in the main office teachers’ lounge if you need me.”

“Thanks” She smiled as Cas opened the door to leave. “Wait, Castiel.”

He stopped and looked at her.

“I can definitely tell you and Dean have some unfinished business going on I don’t want that in the air every time I’m in the room with you or Dean or both. So come over to my house tomorrow afternoon around this time and talk with Dean. Keely and I will be out shopping for her first day.”

“I don’t know. I can’t just show up—“

“No, if I don’t nip this in the butt now Dean will just bottle it up and he doesn’t need that.”

Cas nodded. “I’ll be there.” He walked out of the room and down the hall.

**_***_ **


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s just strange. I hadn’t seen him in what almost a decade and the last time I did see him we finally had sex and we were happy. I mean he didn’t even go up to South Dakota to the college he got accepted into. Now I found out he is not only not gay but married to a woman and has a daughter.” Cas informed as he cut tomatoes.

“As much as I love you opening up to me, is it really necessary for you to be talk about your old love life to your boyfriends.” The other man smiled.

Cas sighed. “I’m so sorry, babe. I just…it’s overwhelming having him here. It took me 4 years just to get him out of my mind and start dating again.”

“It’s ok. I understand.”

“Believe it or not, Crowley, his wife invited me to settle things at their house tomorrow.”

“Are you going to go?” Crowley asked wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist.

Cas looked at him dead in the eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were ok with it. I love you and you know I won’t leave you, but I have to settle things with him. I have to know why he left. I have to know why he ran away so suddenly and why now come back.”

Crowley nodded and smiled. “I love your heart and dedication. Tell me all about it when you get back, but you owe me some hardcore sex.”

“We used the last condom this morning. I never had a chance to run out and get more.”

Crowley threw a seductive cheeky grin. “What are you scared of knocking up your darling boyfriend?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” Cas laughed.

“I’ll go get some after dinner.” Crowley pushed away and started the pasta. “How old is Dean’s daughter?”

“She is going to be going into 3rd grade. I’m guessing that mean’s she’s around 8.” Cas washed his hands.

“Cas, baby, I don’t mean to ran on your parade or anything, but if Dean’s wife had his daughter 8 years ago…that mean she got pregnant right after Dean left.”

“What do you mean?”

“If that’s what he did fine. It’s not like we were dating. Apparently it was a summer fling.”

“Yes, but baby, it’s more than that, I think either Dean got Joanna pregnant days maybe a week or two after he left.”

“How would know?”

“I met Joanna and Dean a couple days ago. Don’t you dare get mad at me because I never really knew Dean and it slipped my mind. They were trying to buy s house. Once they found the perfect house me and Dean’s wife talked. Their daughter Keely’s birthday is early June. A full 9 months after Dean left. That’s only with the situation that that Joanna carried Keely a whole 36 weeks or more.”

“Crowley, just stop. I don’t really care if Keely is Dean’s or not. Keely surely loves him like a Dad.”

They were silent. They ate supper in silence. They went to bed with no sex. Cas wasn’t feeling up to it. When he woke up that morning Crowley was gone.

Cas got in the shower then got dressed. He looked at the clocked and it was 12:30. He got into his car and drove to location written down on the piece of paper JO had given him. Once he pulled into the driveway he knew it was Dean’s Winchesters house. The black 1967 Chevy Impala was parked right beside his.

Cas crept slowly to the door. He knocked twice and he then heard movement. He knocked again. “I’m comin’. I’m comin’. Keep your shirt on.” He opened the door and instantly made eye contact with Cas.

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey Cas.” Dean sighed. “What are you doing here? How did you find me or my address?”

“Jo gave the address. She wants us to talk.” Cas looked at anything but Dean’s face. “Can I come in?”

Dean stepped back and closed the door behind Cas. “It’s good to see you, Cas. I know it’s been a while.”

“Why did you leave?” Cas got straight to the point.

Dean let out a huff of air. “It’s not what you think, Cas. I had been planning to leave Lawrence for years. You knew that.”

“Why didn’t you go to South Dakota to college? I thought that’s how you were going to get out.”

“Yes, then no.” Dean said walking into the living room. “It’s a lot more complex than that.”

Cas crossed his arms over his chest. “Then explain to me why you left without even saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry. It started out that I just had to get away from Dad. It was only going to be for a week or two then I was going to head to South Dakota and meet up with my Uncle Bobby and start school, but something dramatic changed my plans. I stayed in Nebraska for a year before having the courage to go up to South Dakota.”

“You were in Nebraska when you met Jo?”

“Yeah, she helped me through a extremely hard time in my life.”

“When did Keely become part of your life? When did you get Jo pregnant?”

Dean looked Cas straight in the eyes. “Don’t talk about my daughter like that.”

“What happened to you and me? I thought we were happy.”

Dean walked over to Cas and got in his face. “It was one night, I needed to be with you. I needed you to be the last person I talk to before I left. I didn’t want to say goodbye.”

“Why did you never call me? You couldn’t give your family or your best friend some clarity.”

“It’s not like that, Cas. I wanted to call you like a million times but I couldn’t because of what happened.”

“What happened!” Cas yelled.

“Keely happened!” Dean snapped back. Dean looked away and turned his back.

“I understand that can be life changing but that happened after you left.”

“I would have come back but I couldn’t stand for you to see me.” Dean yelled in frustration.

Cas was dumbfounded. He didn’t understand Dean’s sudden explosion. It should have been him who was upset, but role were reversed. He walked over to Dean. He touched his shoulder. Dean flinched and whipped around.

“No! No! Don’t touched me! Cas, I can’t. I can’t. You don’t know what I have been through for the past 9 years.”

Something clicked in Cas’s head in that moment. “Yeah, I don’t know. I wasn’t there. You. Left!”

“I had been planning on leaving for months. You knew. Hell, Cas, I asked you to leave with me, but you didn’t. You said no over and over again. It wasn’t until shortly after I left that I realized I couldn’t come back for a long while…then I met Jo.”

“Wait you had something other than Keely happen before you met Jo?”

Dean jumped back with his hands forced in front of him. “No, Cas, I can’t handle this right now. Jo and Keely should be getting home soon.”

“Jo doesn’t care. Tell me happened in those 9 years you were gone.” Cas walked forward towards Dean.

“I can’t, Cas! I have pushed the memory of leaving you so far down so I could open up to someone like I did to you.” Dean stepped back a foot.

“Please, Dean. What are you hiding from me?’ Cas begged.

Dean shook his head. “I’m going to need you to leave.”

“Dean…” Cas sighed.

“I’m not the same guy I was 9 years ago. I have changed.”

Cas shook his head. “You’re wrong, Dean. You can be that guy again. Just tell me what happened. Why don’t you want to tell me?”

“I’m going to need you to leave.” Dean repeated. “I will talk to you later, Cas. Right now is just not the right time. I have to get my head put on straight.”

That when Dean pushed Cas out of the house.

_******* _


	3. Chapter 3

Cas ended up at the elementary school. He worked on his seating chart for his final time and worked on the desk placement. He walked to the teachers’ lounge and printed out worksheets the kids work on, on their first day of school.

He knew someone’s presence in the room with him. He turned around and Crowley was in the doorway. “What are you doing here? I thought you had work.” Cas remarked really wanting to be alone.

“I came home for lunch and you weren’t home. I called Meg and she told me you were here.” Crowley smirked. “You look like you are elbow deep in your thoughts. Care to share?”

“I talked with Dean this morning.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t go as you thought it would have gone.” Crowley walked over to Cas.

“I didn’t know how it was going to turned out. I just wanted answers.” Cas sighed as Crowley wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist. He leaned into the touch.

“Did you get your answers?”

Cas turned around and placed his arms on his boyfriends shoulders. “No…it’s just got me thinking. Dean was strongly voicing that his daughter is a big reason why he never came back until now.”

“How about we go home and you rest.”

“I can’t. I need to find answers. Maybe he visited John or Sam before going to the school. I need answer, Crowley.”

“You’re stressing yourself out to much. You need to breath for a second.”

Crowley brought Cas into a hug and Cas kissed the top of the shorter man’s head. “You’re right. How about we go home and you lay in bed with me. We can get naked and bump some uglies.”

“Some like a good time, darling.” Crowley smiled. They got out of the school and into the car and home in record time.

            Castiel slammed the door shut and threw himself on Crowley. Their lips touched with a big smacking noise, ripping their saliva out of their mouth. “Forceful my Dear, just how I like.” Crowley groaned out as Castiel bit and teased at Crowley’s neck.  

                Crowley leaned against the door as Castiel went up and pecked at his ear lobe. They enter twined their hands and made-out, spit lying on the top of their lips. Crowley hips gridded against Cas’s hips, as Castiel licked down the side of his ear.

                “C’mon baby!” Castiel grunted out his blue eyes light and shining with lust. Crowley grabbed his hand as they slammed into the next wall making their way to their bedroom. Crowley yanked at Cas’s hair making him hiss just as he loved.

                They made-out with each other slamming into their bedroom door. Castiel’s arm hooked his arm around Crowley, hitting it against their cabinets. He groaned in pain, biting on Crowley’s lip. His hip gridded on Crowley’s as he bit at his chin.

                Crowley quickly pushed Cas on the bed getting on top of him sucking at his neck. Castiel was loud, groaning with his every stroke of his lip. “Yes darling, moan for me!” Crowley shouted, biting his neck, rubbing at the sleeve of his shirt. Castiel smirked and pushed the bigger boy over him. “I’m top, big boy.” Castiel whispered into his ear, licking the tip of it while getting on top of him.

                He let his tongue hang out, big and pink. Crowley leaned up taking it whole into his mouth, sucking at it with his. “Your tongue is magic, darling.” Crowley mumbled between their tender French kisses.

                Castiel nodded as he sucked and played with Crowley’s tongue and bottom lip. Their saliva rolled into the other person’s mouth. “You taste,” Cas sucked on his boyfriend’s tongue, “So good.” Crowley nodded wrapping his arms around Cas.

                Castiel and Crowley moaned as they made-out, starting to feel hard bugles at their pants. Castiel panted and just stared into Crowley’s light brownish – green eyes, slipping the black coat right off his shoulders. They sucked at each other’s face, sweat starting to fall off of their foreheads.

                Crowley’s fingers worked at Cas’s button down shirt about ripping it off of his body just to feel the sweat and heat off of his lover’s body. Crowley lifted his arms letting Cas pull it off instantly going down to kiss and tease at his chest. Crowley moaned. “Oh, love!”

                His moved his neck, gasping as soon as he felt the touch of Cas’s lip sucking once again. He quickly unbuttoned Cas’s pants, pulling them down to his knees. Cas’s throbbing member showing through, a tiny spot of pre-cum leaked onto the fabric showing a wet spot. Crowley couldn’t stop looking for you knew what it looked like from under the tiny piece of clothing.

                As Cas kissed and nipped at his boyfriend’s face and neck, going down to his collarbones, Crowley moved his hands under the waistband of Cas. He gasped, cool air slipping into his warm skin. “Fuck—“

                He moaned as he rolled his pants and dirty boxers off his legs, pre-cum leaking onto the bed. Crowley’s eyes went straight to his pink, swollen, and big cock. Castiel bit his lip and pulled Crowley closer to him. “You want to play with my _long, throbbing, cock_ , babe?” Castiel teased, and leaned down biting his collarbone, sweat dripping off his chin.

                Crowley nodded. “Go ahead baby—touch it, play with it you naughty boy.” Crowley smirked and bit his wet lip; it taste like Cas. His hand slowly touched the head of his cock and pressed his thumb hard on the tip. Cas gasped.

                Cas touched Crowley’s belt and slowly undid it from its loop. Crowley stopped to watch him pull down his pants and boxer in one swift move. Pre-cum leaked out of his cock too. Cas smirked and licked the stubble on his chin. “I didn’t tell you to stop baby, I think you need a punishment.” Castiel whispered. He was a totally different person having sex with Crowley.

                Crowley nodded. “What’s my punishment, love?”

                Castiel bit his lip and looked down at Crowley, swinging his belt in his hand. “Bend over…” He whispered into his ear. Crowley kissed Castiel quickly and bent over, his ass up in the air. Castiel folded the belt and quickly slapped it across his bare ass. He gasped.

                Castiel did it again, Crowley begging. “Harder Cas!” Cas smiled and whipped the belt against him again. He gasped and groaned out loud. Castiel got close to him let his hard cock rub against his bare cold ass. Pre-cum leaked onto his ass, dripping down to his hole.

                Castiel grabbed a hold of Crowley’s throbbing member. “No cumming for you until we are done or else you’ll have more punishment.” Crowley moaned and bit his lip. Castiel grabbed the belt again. “Lay down on your back baby…” He seductively said. Crowley did as he was told, he cock standing up, swollen and red.

                Castiel smoothed his hands up and all over Crowley’s arms, getting to his wrists. He wrapped the belt over his wrist and tied it up on top of the bed post. “Not getting away naughty boy.”

                Crowley bit his lip. “Bite me.”

                Castiel grabbed a condom from their bedside table and the lube. “I want you to beg for me big boy…beg for my _hard, cock_ to enter your hole. Beg!” He shouted. Crowley panted and lifted his legs into his around Cas’s waist.

                “Please baby, I’m begging you!” Crowley begged. Castiel smiled and licked his fingers, sticking 2 in before Crowley was ready getting him by surprise. “Keep begging baby.” Crowley gasped and bit his lip. “Oh Love, deeper, please!”

                Castiel takes his 2 fingers out, sticking a third in, deep. Crowley gasped out in pain and pleasure. “C-Castiel, my l-love!” He stutters out. His cock twitched needing some attention. He moved his hand down and began to pump it, more pre-cum dripping from the erected cock.

                Soon a hand was on his cock, removing his. “No baby, not now…” Crowley bit down at his lip, Castiel’s rough voice making him want all of him. Castiel stuck a fourth finger in getting Crowley by surprise. He panted and closed his eyes. “D-Dear!” He shouted, half in pain, half in pleasure.

                Castiel pulled Crowley’s legs up and kissed and bit at his thigh. “Beg naughty boy…” Cas whispered. Crowley could feel his cock throbbing, it was almost painful. “I-I want all of y-you, d-darling!” He shouted. Castiel lifted Crowley’s leg over his shoulder and gave his other hand to Crowley to bite. Castiel slid his fit up his small hole with his boyfriend biting on Cas’s hand. He kissed at his thighs as he fisted into him deep and hard.

                Castiel removed his fist and licked all over his hand. “You taste so sweet baby…” He moaned. Crowley bit his lip, sweat dripping off of his face. “Dear, please, I want you…” Crowley groaned out trying his hardest not to touch himself.

                Cas smirked. “You want my _big, long, throbbing, cock_ in your _naughty little hole,_ huh?” Cas asked getting on top of him straddling him in missionary position. Crowley moaned in pleasure. “You want me to _cum_ in your _naughty little hole?_ ”

                “Yes! Yes! Yes, Love!” He shouted biting his lip. Castiel licked his fingers and wrapped them around his own cock. “You, want me to do this to you?” He moans out, his gasps and moaning making Crowley go crazy. “Please, I beg you! I need you in me…” Crowley begged. Castiel pre cum leaked onto Crowley’s chest. Cas reached behind him getting the condom and wrapping it on his throbbing member. He globed lube on it, rubbing good.

                He touched Crowley’s hole putting lube all over it, rubbing it. Cas moved Crowley’s leg to his sides and lined his cock up with his hole. “You ready, babe?” He asked, going down to kiss his chest. Crowley nodded.

                Castiel slid in making Crowley gasp. Cas moaned the tension on his cock. He thrust in and out hard fast. “Fuck—fuck!” Crowley groaned.

                Castiel lay down on his chest moving his hips into Crowley’s hole. Castiel’s hand smoothly goes over his nipples, teasing them. Castiel started to grunt and moan. “Oh—oh, Crowley you’re so tight! Oh—oh God!” Castiel shouted in a moan. Crowley was amused with the loud noises he was making.

                “I’m—I’m gonna…” Castiel groaned. His warmth filling Crowley up as his cum spilled in a gush. Crowley’s cock was still hard as a rock not being touch. Castiel slid out and saw his throbbing member. “Don’t worry baby…I’ll take care of you.” He seductively said.

                Castiel wrapped his wet lips around Crowley’s head. He thrust his head up and down not gagging a bit, his big tongue licking and teasing as he looked Crowley straight in the eye. “C-Cas! I’m—oh! I’m—gonna c-cum!” He shouted. Castiel bobbed as fast as he could, making Crowley explode in his mouth.

                His cum filled his mouth as he swallowed ever bit of it. Crowley panted as long with Castiel. Castiel moved up and wrapped his arms around his lover. “My Dear, I love you so much. Never leave me.” Crowley whispered, kissing his swollen lips with his.

“I never will babe, I love you so much too.” Castiel smiled and snuggled into his neck kissing him there.

                Crowley smiled and kissed Cas’s head, rolling on top of him. “Round 2, my Darling?”

Castiel kissed him in a sweet matter. “Most certainly.” After two more rounds Cas and Crowley laid panting beside each other on the bed. “That was amazing.”

“I agree.” Crowley smiled. “Are you feeling better?”

“Physically, yes, but mentally, not really.” Cas sighed. “I’m sorry, baby. This whole thing is stressing me out.”

“I understand. Let’s get some sleep and start fresh in the morning.”

Cas curled up around Crowley. “Good Night, My Angel.”

“I love you, my demon.” Castiel smiled. He closed his eyes and drifted into a sleep where he relived the last night he spent with Dean before to ran off. Something wasn’t right about this whole thing. It was unsettling.

**_***_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must give credit where credit is due and MCRgurl wrote this perfect sexilicious sex scene. She is awesome and helped me out. I hoped you like this chapter. :D


	4. Chapter 4

“Mr. Novak?” He heard that next afternoon. It was Sunday. School started tomorrow. Cas was lost in his head to hear the voice calling for him until it got closer. “Mr. Novak?”

Cas flinched. “Yes?”

Cas thought it was a teacher calling for him but no it was a young girl; Keely. “Mr. Novak?”

“Hi, Hello, you’re Mrs. Winchester’s daughter, right?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I’m Keely. I wanted to ask you something.”

Cas rolled out his chair and stood up and walked around his desk. “Sure, what do you want to know?”

“Can we sit?” She asked looking at the chairs. Cas mentally smirked at the thought of sitting in chairs that were meant for kindergarteners.

Cas nodded and slowly descended in the small chair. “Is something wrong?”

“No, you said that you knew my dad?” She asked.

“I did.”

“What was he like before I was born?”

Cas know how to answer that to a young girl. He bit his lip then answered. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I heard my mom say one time that my Dad only drank when he was angry. I also heard them fight one time and he use to drink all the time before I was born. I’ve only seen Dad drunk once and he talked about this Castiel person. You’re the only person I have ever met with that name.”

“Um, Keely, I think that is something you should talk with your Dad about. I haven’t really talked with your Dad in about 9 – 10 years.”

Keely looked upset. Cas wasn’t giving her the answers she was looking for. He looked at her for a moment and realized that her question had more meaning than she lead on.

“Keely, has your Dad started drinking again?” Keely hid her face. She didn’t want to answered but her body language gave it away. “Keely, sweetie, did you Dean do something bad?”

“Dad came home really drunk. I heard him say it was just a few beers with his old friends. Mom said she could smell the Whiskey on him. They started yelling really loud and I got scared. I ran to my room and hid under my covers. They yelled for two hours before they started throwing things…”

“Throwing things?” Cas’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know, I heard loud crash and the sound of glass breaking. That lasted like ten minutes before the yelling started back up. I don’t know how long they fought until I heard the down open and slam shut. That’s when everything went silent.” Keely said close to tears.

Cas moved closer to Keely. He cupped her jaw in his hands. She was suppressing a sob but tears ran down her face. “Did your Dad hurt your Mom?”

She shook her head. “He would never do something like that, Mr. Novak. That’s not the worst part. I don’t know where they are…” She whimpered closing her eyes.

“Wha—what do you mean?” Cas asked confused.

“I was too scared to leave me room last night so I just went to sleep. When I woke up this morning I walked downstairs and the living room and kitchen had glass everywhere. Nobody was there. I ran up to Mom and Dad’s room and no one was there. I ran around the house and no one was home. I was alone. I ran outside and Daddy’s car wasn’t in the driveway.” Keely was started to breakdown.

Cas pulled her in close and she gripped to Cas’s shirt. Cas realized that the questions she was asking before she told Cas everything was Keely trying to figure out where Dean would go. “Keely, why did you come to me for help?”

Keely looked up. “I only know how to get to the school on foot. I don’t know where my grandpa lives and I don’t know how to get to my Daddy’s work.”

Cas had to make a decision whether to stay here, take Keely to his house, take her back to her house, go to John’s house or try to find Dean. “Keely, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t wanna go back home. I’m scared, Mr. Novak.” Keely whimpered.

Cas ran his fingers thought the girls hair. “No need to be scared. I’m here with you. Everything’s going to be ok, but I need to know what you want me to do. Do you want to go to your grandpa’s house, do you want to stay here, do you want to stay at my house, or do you want to find your dad?”

“I-I-I don’t know, Mr. Novak.” Keely whimpered. Cas nodded and slowly stood and took the little girl’s hand.

“Come with me. Let’s go check and see if your mom is in her class room.” Keely nodded and stood to her feet and gripped tighter on Cas’s hand. They walked down the quiet halls in silence. Cas would occasionally heard Keely sniff and readjust her hand.

The door to Jo’s room was closed and the lights were off. Cas jiggled to the doorknob and it was locked. He looked through the window in the door and nobody was inside that he could tell. “Mr. Novak?”

Cas looked down at the frightened girl. “Keely, would it be ok if I take you to your grandpa’s house and then go looking for your parents?” He crouched down to her level.

“Don’t leave me, Mr. Novak.” Keely blurted out and lunged at the kindergarten teacher.

“I’m not going to leave, sweetheart. We’re going to find your parents.” Cas rubbed her back as he felt her hiccup into his shirt. Cas ended up lifting her into his arm and carrying her to his car. He placed her in the passenger seat and walked around the front of the car and got into the driver’s side.

They didn’t drive longer before reaching Dean’s workplace. First off, Cas didn’t see Dean’s car. Cas looked at Keely. “I’ll be right back. I have to talk to someone really fast.” Keely nodded and Cas got out of the car.

Cas jogged inside the building. He looked around and spotted the man he was looking for. “John?”

The taller muscular man turned around and looked at the blue eyed man. “Castiel? Where are you doing here?”

“You happened to know where Dean is by any chance?”

John looked confused. “What’s this about, Cas? He called in sick this morning.”

“Can I have his cell number?”

“Why?”

“I need to speak with him.” Cas answered almost too quickly.

“I need something a little more detailed than that.” John crossed his arms over his chest.

“Keely is in my car right now freaking out because Dean and his wife are no to be seen.” Cas blurted out. John froze. Once that registered in John’s brain he wrote down Dean’s cell number and handed it to Cas.

Once out of the building Cas dialed the number given. It rang six times before Dean’s answering machine got it. _‘This is Dean’s cell. Sorry I can’t be reached right now, I’ll get back you as soon as possible.’_

Cas sighed and ended the call and walked back to the car. Something was really wrong. Why would Dean and Jo just leave their daughter all of a sudden?

**_***_ **


	5. Chapter 5

Cas drove to Dean and Jo’s house. No matter how much the little girl in the passenger seat said no he had to take her home. She shyly entered the house. Cas saw the mess . “Keely, don’t worry. You’re parents are going to have to come home sooner or later.”

“Where would they go Mr. Novak?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart.” Cas said looking down at her. “How about you go up to your room and I’ll clean this mess.”

After 2 hours the living was glass free and somewhat clean. That’s when he heard the front door open. He walked towards the door and Dean and Jo came walking in. They were bandaged up and looked worn out. “Where the hell have y’all been? You’re daughter has been freaking out.”

“Why are you here?” Dean croaked.

“I was at the school doing some last minute things when Keely running into my room spouting off different things then ends up telling me that she doesn’t know where y’all were the school is the only place she knows how to get to by foot.”

Cas watched Dean’s fist clench. “Thank you Castiel. We had to go to the ER. We got into a fight and both had a lot of glass stuck in us.” Jo said before Dean had a chance to say anything.

“Keely is a smart girl. She’s what 8 years old and you let her spend the whole night and day alone without any idea where you were or how to get a hold of you.”

Dean took a step forward. “Me and Jo were badly banged up. Keely is a smart girl she knew what to do if we weren’t here.” Dena snapped.

“Why did you get in the stupid fight anyway? You and Jo put yourself in danger and then where would Keely go if you two were both dead?”

“Shut up!” Dean yelled.

“What with all your anger? What did I do to you?” Cas snapped back.

“I said shut up!” Dean pointed his finger and Jo stepped back not wanting to get in the way.

“Nine years ago I never heard you yell, I never saw you this banged up over a little fight. What is wrong with you? Was it me? What did I ever do to you!?”

“Get out of my house, Cas.” Dean pointed towards the down.

“Tell me what I did to make you so angry. Last time I checked it was you who ran away. It was you who never came back.” Cas remarked as Jo ran up the stairs.

“I made the decision to leave! I’m not obligated to tell you shit!”

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me anything. It’s not like I was your best friend. It’s not like I have known you since second grade.” Cas sarcastically remarked. He walked towards the door. He turned to look at Dean once more. “By the way, you’re welcome.”

Dean looked confused. “For what?”

“Watching over your daughter while you were gone, I even cleaned up your living room.” Cas opened the door and slammed it behind him. He stormed over to his car. He sat there for a few moments in silence looking at his hands. That’s when the passenger door opened.

It was Dean. He sat down in the sit and didn’t looked at Cas. He just stared at the wind shield. “Drive.”

“Where?”

“That spot in the park where we sat the night of prom when Lisa Braeden and Meg Masters ditched us to hook up with each other.”

Cas nodded remembering the exactly place. They stayed in silence until they sat down in that spot in the park that was very isolated and Cas believe him and Dean were the only people who still knew about it. Everyone who did knew left Kansas or just plain forgot.

It was Dean who started talking first. “You know, I thought you would have left Kansas by now and became a big well known college professor. So when we moved here and I came with Keely to visit JO while she was working for lunch I was utterly shocked to find out your were a kindergarten teacher.”

“Well, after you left I made some life decisions and went to a college close by here and went into early childhood development. I’ve been teaching at Lawrence Elementary as a kindergarten for five years now.”

“How is the whole Novak family?” Dean asked with sincere curiosity.

“Lucifer’s in jail again, Michael owns this big law firm or something. Anna is co owning a bakery and Gabriel is the other owner.”

“What about your mom and pap?”

“Dad died 4 years ago. Heart attack.” Cas looked down at the ground.

“I’m so sorry.” Dean placed a hand on Cas’s shoulder.

Cas smirked. “No, it’s fine. If he had never passed I would have never met my boyfriend.”

“You are seeing someone?”

“Yeah,” Cas cleared his throat. “We’ve been together for almost 2 years. His name is Crowley or Fergus Macloud. He’s originally from Scotland.”

“How did you meet?”

“I help my mom sell her house after Dad died and he was the realtor. We were friends for a year then dated from then on, we live together now.”

“That’s good to hear.” Dean tried to smile.

“You can’t hide from me, Dean. What aren’t you telling me?”

Dean’s smile faltered. “Cas, I-I-I can’t…”

“TEL ME!” Cas blurted out.

“Stop it, Cas!” Dean snapped.

“Tell me!”

“Jo’s not Keely’s mother!” Dean blurted out.

“What?” Cas whispered.

“Keely doesn’t have a _mother._ ”

**_***_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this a short chapter...i wanted to end here so i could build drama :P

“You know, I almost forgot how breathtaking your eyes are.” Dean said after a long period of silence. “When you stepped into Jo classroom a few days ago I almost choked. You hadn’t changed one bit.” Dean smirked.

“You wanna know something. I don’t believe you right now.” Cas snapped.

“What are you talking about? I’m being completely honest with you, Cas. Why would I lie?”

Cas gave an angry smile. “The night you left; I said I never wanted that moment to end. I even told you I loved you.”

“Are you saying you think I left because you said you loved me?” Dean acknowledged.

“How long did you stay around after I fell asleep?”

“I don’t know. I fell asleep. I woke up and it was really early. Your parents weren’t even awake yet.”

Cas shook his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

Dean looked at Cas and quickly grabbed Cas face and slammed his lips to Cas’s. He pulled back and stared at Cas. “I never stopped loving you, Castiel.”

“Then why did you leave.”

“Let’s forget about that right now.” Dean kissed Cas again. “Cas, I want you inside me. I have been wanting you inside me for years.”

Cas leaned forward until he was on top of Dean. He started to pulled Dean’s shirt off and then Cas pulled off his own. Cas stared at Dean’s body. He was left arms was a full sleeve of symbols. He had a few on his peck as well. Cas traced te tattoos on Dean’s peck. “How many do you have?”

“I lost count. I do remember my first one. I got my first one a few months after Keely was born.” Dean smiled. He lifted his arm and pointed to the set of angels wings on below his collarbone. “I had to get something to remember you…my angel.”

Cas leaned forward and gently kissed him has he undid Dean’s belt. He dipped his hand down Dean’s pants and pulled out Dean’s dick. Dean undid Cas’s pants and slid them and his boxers to Cas’s knees. “You haven’t changed much since you left.” Cas pulled down Dean’s pants.

“There’s no need to prep me, Angel.” Dean gave a seductive smile and Cas walked his fingers down to Dean’s hole only to find an object in his way. Cas pulled it out to reveal a medium sized butt plug. “Sometimes I like the feel of something inside of me.” He whispered.

Cas quickly lathered his saliva onto his throbbing hard dick and guided into Dean’s already stretched hole. He immediately got a moan out of Dean. “You like that, baby?”

“God, I love it.” Dean moaned gripping Cas’s thighs.

Cas thrusted inwards hard and Dean gasped as it scrapped his prostate. “You know, for a straight man with a wife and daughter you’re enjoying this like a gay man.”

“Not gay.” Dean panted with his eyes closed. It broke Cas’s heart to hear that. He hesitated but then… “Just in love with you.” Cas had his dick hard, then soft then back to hard in seconds.

Cas smiled and slammed his lips into Dean’s. He slammed his dick into Dean’s prostate once more. “Dean…I gotta.”

“You’re not the only one.” Dean moaned with a huge smile on his face. Cas thrusted once more and Cas shot long spurts of come into Dean. Dean was next and came all over his stomach. “Just as I remembered it 9 years ago.”

“Yeah, except last time you didn’t have a butt plug.” Cas laughed kissing Dean. “Where the Hell did you hide this from Jo?”

‘Nah, Jo bought this for me two years ago. She has a kinky side wear she gets very dominant and likes wearing a strap on and like butt plugs and cock rings.”

“I really didn’t need to know that.” Cas groaned but that something hit him like a ton of bricks. “Oh God.” He scrambled to his feet, pulling up his boxers and pants and fastening the belt. “Oh God.” Cas mumbled pulling on his shirt.

Dean slowly pulled up his boxers and pants and rose to his feet buckling his belt. “What’s wrong, Cas?”

“What’s wrong!? What’s wrong?” Cas blurted out. Dean looked shocked. “I just cheated on my boyfriend, of whom I love dearly, with you, who I might add cheated on his wife of five years.”

Dean pulled on his shirt and walked over to Cas and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Cas, we just don’t tell them. They won’t get mad if they never know.”

“I can’t do that, Dean. My and Crowley’s relationship is built on trust. One lie could destroy all of that. I even teach kindergarteners to not lie because it’s bad.”

“I’m not telling you to lie. I’m telling you not to say anything. Like it never happened.”

“But it did happen.” Cas whimpered.

“Cas, you gotta promise me you won’t say anything.” Dean looked serious. Cas shook his head and looked at his feet. “CAS!”

“I-I-I…Dean…”

“You gotta promise me, Cas.”

“Fine, I promise.”

*******


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A Chapter?!? Sorry guys, this fic was not forgotten. It was simply put aside for a little while, while i worked on other fics, plus work, art, and school. I'll get the next chapter as soon as i can, but please Enjoy this chapter! :P

The first day of school was always a hard day for Cas because he had the kindergartener that if they weren’t cry for their parents they were vamped. After helping everyone get to the car they needed to be at or in the right bus Cas was cleaning up the room to be ready for the cycle to start again.

A month had pasted and Cas had gotten into a good cycle and his kids this year were…for lack of a better word…awesome. They were messy too. So everyday Cas stayed after school for at least an extra hour cleaning. He had just sat down when a girl trotted inside.

“Hi, Mr. Novak.” It was Keely.

“Hello, Keely. What brings you by?”

“I just had some time to kill.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you.” Cas smiled.

“What did you do with my Dad the other day, because he seems different?”

Cas froze. “Uh…um, We just talked in private for a little while…settled some things.”

“Dad is acting different.” Keely drew circles in the ground with her foot.

“How different?” Cas sat on his desk crossed his arms over his chest.

Before Keely could answer someone was calling her name. “Keely? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s time to go.” Jo said sternly as she walked in.

“I wanted to talk with Mr. Novak.”

“You know what Daddy said. It’s time to go home?” Jo took Keely’s hand.

“What did Dean say?” Cas asked standing up.

Jo stopped and looked at Castiel. “It’s nothing. The way Dean has been acting…He has secrets that only me and Keely know…no one in this town knows and I think Dean likes it that way.”

“What does that have to do with Keely talking with me?”

“Keely, go to Mommy’s classroom.” Jo walked over to Cas as Keely ran off. “Dean has stopped drinking. If you know Dean…he will swear on his mother’s grave that he is not an alcoholic but he still has a fifth of whiskey and more than a case of beer a day. He’s just like his father. It’s how they work. He walked into the house and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and read a book. Dean doesn’t read. I asked him what he was reading and he said it was a book that you gave him back when you were in high school.”

“I don’t understand. Dean and I just talked.”

“I have learned to look past Dean’s habits, but in a matter of week he is like a completely different person.”

Cas walked over to sink. “How is that a bad thing?” Cas began to wash his hands. “From what you have told me, I can only assume that Dean went from a drunk or a decent guy. I have talked to Dean since that night. Why are you blaming me?”

“Because you’re the reason he is who he is.” Jo blurted out then quickly covered her mouth. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” She retreated backwards.

“Jo? What are you saying?”

“No, I’ve said too much.” Jo panicked and ran out of the room. Cas stood there in confusion. He walked to his car and drove to Dean’s work. He immediately saw Dean’s car and got out. He walked inside and walked to the front desk.

It was a red headed girl sitting there. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Yes, is Dean here?”

She nodded. “He is right through that door.”

Cas nodded and walked to the door. He looked inside. It was a different sight Cas wasn’t expecting. He thought the room was a break room or Dean’s office to relax after he works on cars all day, but no. He was sitting at a desk writing what he could only imagine was numbers. That wasn’t the weirdest part. Dean was wearing glasses, not sunglasses, but reading glasses. “Dean?”

Dean looked up and took off his glasses. He smiled when his eyes connected with Cas. “Cas, it’s good to see you again.”

“Jo, talked with me this morning.”

“Oh really?” Dean stood. He was wearing a plain black T-Shirt and jeans. His tattoos were on full display. “What did y’all talk about?”

“She tells me you have changed. She says you have stopped drinking…started reading. She seems distraught about this.”

“Yeah, the other night she seemed upset at me for no reason. So I have stopped drinking. It ruins your body and I drank a lot.” Dean grinned as he walked around his desk.

“She told me something weird though.” Cas said shyly.

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “What’d she say?” He took a swig of his water.

“She said I was the reason you are who you are.”

Dean choked on his water. He coughed a few times. “She was blaming you for how I act?”

Cas nodded. “Dean, I think she might know about our thing.”

“NO! She doesn’t know.” Dean snapped.

“Then what was she talking about?”

“She was talking about Ke—“ Dean stopped instantly. He was wide eyed and shocked.

“Ke? Were you going to say…Keely? What does Keely have anything to do with—“ Dean lips crashed into Cas’s suddenly.

Everything was a blur after that until there was a knock on the door. _‘When was the door close?’_ Cas asked himself. He looked around and he was on top of Dean, who was on his stomach bent over, on Dean’s desk fully inside of Dean’s entrance. He looked at Dean and he had a tight grip on the side of his desk. “Can it wait?” Dean spoke.

“Jo is here with Keely.”

Dean groaned. “I’m real busy with—“ Cas slammed into Dean’s prostate. “paper work. I’ll be done in a little while.”

Cas smiled and slammed hard into Dean. Cas came in long strings inside Dean. As Cas came he stroked Dean’s length until he was coming as well. Cas licked up all of Dean’s come as Dean cleaned himself up. Cas fixed his pants and shirt and looked at Dean. He was smiling. “What?”

“Post-sex looks good on you.”

“Oh shut up, you’re wife and daughter on in the other room and there is a good chance we are gonna get caught.”

“No when I open the door I’m going to take a left…to the main room. When I turn left you go right. Take the back exit.”

In theory Dean’s plan was a good one, but in reality, nothing was that simple. Cas took a right and Jo was standing right there glaring at Cas and Dean was a deer caught in the head lights. “What are you doing, Dean?” Jo asked simply.

“Cas came by wanting to talk about starting our friendship over.” Dean slipped his hand in his pockets. “I was gonna invite him and his boyfriend to dinner with us on Friday.”

“Dean—“

“That’s would be great. Crowley and I have been meaning to go out and actually have a cooked meal and not pasta or microwaved somewhat food.” Cas smirked.

“Great, our house, 6 o’clock.” Dean smiled and patted Cas’s shoulder.

Cas nodded. “Sounds great. See you Friday, Dean. See you tomorrow, Jo.” Cas walked quickly out of the building and to his car. When he got home Crowley had set up the table all fancy and lit candle and dimed the lights. “Crow?”

“In the kitchen.”

Cas padded down the hall from the front door to the kitchen where Crowley stood holding two glasses of white wine. He was dressed in one of his more formal suits and wore a grin from ear to ear. Cas slowly stepped into the kitchen. “What’s the occasion?”

Crowley handed Cas the glass of wine. “I’m pregnant.”

Cas froze and gripped the edge of the counter to keep from passing out. “Pregnant? I thought we used protection? You are on birth control.”

“Something must have failed. Cas, my angel, you’re gonna be a Daddy.” Crowley set his glass down and cupped Cas’s face.

Cas smiled and placed his hands on Crowley’s waist. “This is good, we’re gonna be parents.” Cas let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiled wider. He kissed Crowley and hugged him tight, placing his head in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. _‘What have I done? I’ve cheated on my pregnant boyfriend twice…’_

**_***_ **


	8. Chapter 8

Things had gotten heated…and in not the good way. Words slipped, curses flung around and spit was fired. Glasses and plates were broken and chairs were pushed out of the way. It was supposed to be a peaceful night. A little light conversation, dinner, a little more conversation then go home, simple enough.

Keely was staying the night at a friends house, leaving it just Jo, Dean, Crowley and Cas. They were perfectly fine until dinner. That’s when the shit hit the fan.

“So, Crowley, Cas tells me y’all just found out you’re pregnant.” She smiled as she took bite off her fork.

“Yes, I found out Monday afternoon. Tuesday I went to my OB and found out that I’m 8 weeks along.” Crowley smiled as Cas took a gulp of his wine. “Actually, I left out a bit of information for Castiel. It’s not just one, it’s two.”

Cas about choked on his wine. “Twins?” He coughed profusely.

“Congrats, Cas and Crowley.” Dean smiled.

Cas took a few more sips of wine to clear his throat and soon Crowley and Dean got into a conversation about sports which Cas knew nothing about. “Thanks,” Crowley smiled. “Joanna, I understand that Keely is yours and Dean’s daughter. How was the pregnancy?”

“Oh no, I’m Keely’s mom, but I’m not her mother. I didn’t get involved in Dean’s life until after he had Keely.” Jo smiled as she took another bite and then her eyes widened.

Cas’s jaw dropped and Dean glared at Jo. Crowley was unfazed. “I think, we—we should g—“

“JO! What the Hell?” Dean blurted out.

“I’m sorry, it slipped.”

“No! you have been wanting to say that since we moved here.” Dean stood from his chair flung in backwards.

“Come on, Dean. It would take an idiot to not figure it out. You were pregnant before you came to Nebraska. I met you at the hospital and you were puking on the ground beside your car. You had just found out you were pregnant. You were pregnant before we even met.”

“Dean, it’s not like it’s that big of a deal. So you had Keely instead of Jo. It’s not like I’m the father.” Cas tried to calm everything down.

Dean’s face turned beet red. “Cas, you were the only guy I ever bottomed for.”

Cas froze and his jaw dropped, yet again. “Crowley, can me and Dean talk in private?”

“Jo, go in the other room for a moment.” Dean and Cas said in unison. The two significant other looked at each other and walked into the living room leaving Dean and Cas alone in the kitchen.

Cas crossed his arms protectively around his torso. Dean rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at Cas. “Care to explain?” Cas muttered softly afraid to speak any louder to let his anger boil over.

“It’s not like you wanted kids anyways. You made that clear, many times.” Dean answered. “What else is there to explain?”

Cas blinked. Something in how Dean said that hit Cas right square in the face. “What else? What else?” Cas let his arms fall to his sides. “Why did you leave? You don’t understand how I felt the moment I figured out you were never coming back. I felt used. I felt as if you wanted someone to fuck you so you could toss them aside like garbage. I’d seen you do it with other girls. You would have sex with them and then toss them aside. I was just another Dean Winchester statistic. I thought we were best friends and you said it yourself that we were going to be friends forever. I don’t remember when I stopped believing in that.”

Dean shook his head. “You don’t mean that Cas. I would never do something like that to you. You are my best friend. You were never like one of those girls. You were different.”

“THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE?” Cas blurted out. “I woke up that morning and you were gone. There was no note or any message from you. I drove to your house and you weren’t there. I went to all of our spots and you weren’t there. You just left; left without saying goodbye. You vanish for over 9 years and cut all ties. You had a baby, my baby, and kept it a secret.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Dean yelled. “I’m not supposed to be here! Keely’s not supposed to be here!”

Cas could see the tears bubble up in Dean’s eyes but dared not to fall over. “Where are you supposed to be then? If Keely’s not supposed to be here, are you saying that you regret sleeping with me all those years ago? Are you regretting ever being my friend? What are you trying to say?”

“No! No…just no.” Dean fought back. “I’m not saying that. You’re not the reason I left.”

“Then why did not say goodbye. Why did you abandon me?”

“I didn’t abandon you!” Dean was flustered. “I would never abandon you!”

“You did!” Cas yelled. “You left without a trace for 9 years with no reason!”

Dean pounded his fist onto the table and in one swift move knocked everything off the table sending it to the ground. One plate was in Dean’s hand and it was sent towards the wall crashing into tiny pieces. “There was a reason!”

“What Dean! What the hell was the reason?” Cas raised his arms in the air fed up with the argument.

“I wasn’t supposed to live this long!” Dean closed his eyes and the threatening tears on Dean’s tear duct dripped onto his cheeks. “Four days after I left your house the motel owner found me in the bathtub unconscious. He came in because it was past check out. If he had come in half an hour later, I would have been dead. In total I lost barely over 2 liters of blood and almost died. I was in a coma for three weeks and by the time I woke the doctors had already discovered I was pregnant and the fetus was still living. They told me that if I had been in that coma for any longer they were going to force an abortion because in reality the baby was gonna die if I was brain dead.”

Cas didn’t know what to say. He went to take a step forward towards Dean but Dean lifted his hand.

“You should go.” Dean mumbled wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Dea—“

“Congratulations on the babies.” Dean tried to smile. “You and Crowley will make great parents.” He walked out of the room and Cas could hear Jo try to talk to Dean but there was nothing but silence. Jo walked Crowley and Cas to the door.

“Crowley, I’m sorry. Tonight was horrible.” Cas held back tears.

“We need to talk.” Crowley said with a serious face.

“No, no, no, Crow, I know that tone of voice. Don’t do what I think you’re gonna do. I love you, Crowley. I’m happy about the twins. I’m still in love with Dean. I’m just trying to fix everything. Yeah, there is the new news that Dean shared, but I still love you and I am the father of those babies. Please…”

“We need to talk when we get home.” Crowley frowned and got in the car.

Cas was trying so hard to hold back tears. His life was crumbling to pieces. Where was the rewind button when you needed it?

_******* _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter. I couldn't go any further because i have big plans for the next chapter! Enjoy!

“Crowley, please, hear me out…”

“Am I losing you, Castiel?” Crowley answered as they set their stuff down when they entered their apartment.

“No, baby, I’m still here. I’m with you 100%.” Cas wrapped his arms over the shorter man. “I love you.”

“I’m not quite sure about that.” Crowley shook his head.

“I love you, Crowley. More than anything. I would go to the ends of the earth for you.” Cas pulled the pregnant man in closer.

“You know you two weren’t the quietest in that room. Me and Joanna heard just about everything said. I heard Dean say two things that just didn’t set right.”

“Dean and I both said some things that don’t set right either.” Cas nodded.

“No, Dean said you never really wanted children. I’m just standing here getting all giddy about having twins with the man I love, but really you aren’t very excited at all. You actually wished I wasn’t pregnant and none of what happened would have happened.”

“No, that’s not true. I want ki—“

“Lies!” Crowley growled. “I heard him say it! You didn’t even deny it his claim! You even glossed over his obvious sarcastic remark!”

“Crowley, what Dean said was true back then…but I want to have kids with you.”

“I don’t believe you.” Crowley walked out of the living room and into the bedroom where he shut the door. Cas paced around the room until he heard a knock.

He opened the front door and in the doorway stood Dean Winchester. “Dea—“

“Jo is leaving me. She’s filing for divorce tomorrow morning. Are you happy now? Apparently, tonight was her last straw. We just broke the news to Keely.” Cas noticed Dean had tear tracks running down his face. “Once this year is over me and Keely are moving to Sioux Falls. Just thought I should let you know.”

“Dean, come in, we can talk abou—“

“No, Keely is in the car. One of her friends got sick so everyone went home. Jo and I told her about the break up and I’m taking her to John’s place, where she can stay the night, while me and Jo figure out the sleeping rearrangements for the next three weeks.”

“Dean…”

“No, don’t…just don’t…it’s obvious I’m not wanted here. Goodbye, Castiel.” Dean walked away and over to his car.

_**& ^%$#%^&*(&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$** _

It was scary. A week had passed since that horrible evening and Cas thought things were going back to kinda normal. Crowley and Cas were watching crap TV one night before bed, when Crowley was hurt by some really bad cramps.

After about an hour the cramps never went away. Cas rushed Crowley to the ER. They took Crowley instantly and left Cas in the waiting room. He waited until 3 in the morning before a doctor came to speak with him. The news was worse than he could ever imagine.

“Mr. Novak, Mr. McCloud had a miscarriage of both twins. We removed them vaginally. Mr. McCloud is resting, recovering, and coping. I’m sorry for your losses. Go be with your boyfriend.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Cas nodded feeling the tears bubbling up in his eyes. He had actually been warming up to the idea of kids. Now that was ripped away from him. He walked into Crowley’s room and ran over to him and gently slid onto the bed with his boyfriend and curled up with him. “I’m so sorry. I wanted them…I really, really wanted them.”

_*** &^%$#%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*(** _

Cas took a few days off and came back the next Monday. At the end of that weeks the kids went off on winter break. Cas’s class had a party and after school he was left to clean the after math. He was almost done when he heard footsteps walk inside his room.

He looked up and half smiled softly. “Hi Keely.”

“Hi, Mr. Novak.” She answered wearily.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Cas asked setting his stuff down and walked over to her.

“I’m leaving for South Dakota tomorrow morning, so I wouldn’t see you again, so I came to say goodbye.”

Cas smiled and crouched down to her level. “You’re going to make so many new friend up there. You’re going to do fine, just keep your nose up and smile. Be brave.”

“Thank you, Mr. Novak. I’m going to miss you.” She gave a teary smile.

“I’m going to miss you too. Go easy on your Dad. He’s going through some hard times.”

“Yes, sir.” Keely nodded.

“Now, come on and give me a hug, so you can scurry over to your Mom’s room.” Cas smiled. Cas pulled her into a tight hug. She pulled away and smiled. She began to walked out of the room. “Bye, Keely.”

She turned to him and waves and ran off. That would be the last Cas would see Keely or Dean for a little while, but when they did come back things had definitely changed.

**_***_ **


	10. Chapter 10

_**5 Years Later…** _

Cas walked into the building with a smile. He walked up to the front desk. “Hi, is John here?”

“Hey Castiel, yeah, he’s here. Let me get him. This is about your car, right?” Charlie picked up the phone and dialed the extension for John office. She smiled. “Hey Mr. J-man, Castiel is here. Great.” She looked up at Cas. “He will be down in just a minute. So, Cas, what are you gonna do for Christmas?”

“I’m probably going to just stay here.”

“How’s Crowley doing?” Charlie gave a half smile.

“Um, he’s doing fine. It’s been hard since he had to drop everything and move back to Scotland. I don’t blame him, with his mother falling ill and then passing away, and having to take over the family business, I would have moved up there with him, but I can’t leave my kindergarteners or this town. We make do with this long distance relationship.”

“School are on Christmas Break , right?”

Cas nodded. “They started on Friday.”

John walked into the main room. “Sorry, it took so long. My son doesn’t understand relaxation, even if it punched him in the face.”

Cas smirked and followed John. “So, how’s the car looking?”

“It’s seen better days, but she’s still in pretty good shape. Had to replace the battery and cange the oil.”

“How much do I owe you?” Cas pulled out his wallet.

John shook his head and walked back inside the warm building.

“No, John, how much do I owe you?” Cas shut the door.

“You know the deal, Cas.” John smiled.

“The deal was stupid and you would be losing money.”

“You’re not the only customer I get a day, Cas. Ever since I expanded three years ago, business is bigger than ever. You coming in once a year to get a tune up on your rust bucket won’t break the bank.”

“I can’t leave until I pay you for something, that’s just not right.” Cas opened his wallet.

“You don’t make a lot of money working with those tots, save it for when you need it, and put that damn wallet away.”

The front door opened. Cas turned to see Sam walk in with his wife, Jess. “Oh, Hey, Cas.” Sam smiled.

“Hello Sam.”

Sam looked over to John. “Hey Dad.”

Cas nodded. “I should be hea—“ Cas saw him. Dean. He was different. “Dean?”

Dean looked shocked. “C-Cas?” Dean’s whole appearance had changed. Not only did he have a whole sleeve on both arms but he had a lip ring and his hair was a tad longer and gel-ed up. The most shocking change was the moderate swell under Dean’s shirt. Cas had never seen Dean actually pregnant. He looked hot.

Shortly after Dean entered the room a bouncing little boy dashed in. “Uncle Sammy!” Sam lifted the boy into his arm.

“Hey slugger.” Sam smiled. “Where’s Keely?”

“Went Christmas shopping with Jo so they could catch up.” Dean kept eye contact with Cas. “Sammy, could you and Jess take Nate to the break room? Dad, Charlie can me and Cas talk in private?”

They all nodded. “Come on booger, let’s go draw stuff.” Sam hopped out of the room making the little one giggle. Cas ran a hand down his face and Dean placed a hand on his back.

“I know what you are going to say…” Dean lifted his other hand. “Let me explain. There are three reasons I moved back here. I f I had a choice I wouldn’t have come back, because of what happened and I didn’t want to go through that again.”

“Who—“

“Keely was being bullied at school and Nathan had just started school, thing weren’t doing too great. I wanted to be closer to my family, so I decided to move closer when this happened.” Dean gestured his belly.

“Who is Nathan?” Cas asked as his first question.

“My son…” Dean replied. “He recently turned five.”

“Is he…” Cas silently pointed a finger to himself.

Dean nodded. “From our first time…I didn’t start to even slightly show until a month before I left, but it was December so it was easy to hide.”

“Dean…” Cas sighed.

“Crowley was pregnant with twins, how are those?” Dean asked changing the subject…he didn’t know.

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “You never heard, I guess. Crowley miscarried. After two more years of trying he got pregnant again, but there were complications and the baby was a still born and Crowley had to get a hysterectomy. That was a year and a half ago and now he is living in Scotland and we are doing a long distance relationship.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Dean absentmindedly rub his belly. “I’m glad to know you and Crowley stuck together through thick and thin.”

Cas nodded. “Thanks. Do you know what you are having?”

“No, I like the surprise of the doctor revealing the gender once the baby enters the world.” Dean smirked.

“Sound like some sort of hippy freak.” Cas smiled. Dean chuckled. “How far along are you?”

Dean thoughtful a moment like he was doing to the math. “6… ½ months.”

Cas nodded. “Who’s the baby’s daddy?”

Dean laughed softly. “You think all the babies I have are accidents?”

“I—I didn’t—I meant—“ Cas blushed.

“I’m doing this for Sam and Jess. They stuffed me with two or three embryos and at least one little guy stuck.”

“Must be hard to find a boy or girl friend like that.”

“Yeah, it would had been. About two, two and a half years after I left I found my boyfriend, Benny.” Dean smiled.

“That’s good, I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Same goes to you, Cas.” Dean lowered his head to look down at his round middle. “I missed you, Cas.”

“Dean, I can’t do that again. What we did almost ruined my relationship with Crowley and ruined your marriage with Jo.”

“No, me being gay ruined my marriage with Jo and I’m not talking about that. I missed my best friend, but after that one night, that one dinner, I think I ruined that forever.”

Cas watched as Dean grazed his hand up and down his protruding stomach. He watched Dean shift his weight from one leg to the other. Then it dawned on him. “Hey, you should sit down.”

“I’m fine.” Dean mumbled.

“No, you’re not. You’re back is hurting and your ankles are swollen.” Cas smiled as he guided Dean to the couch by the window. Cas took Dean’s hand and helped him onto the couch. “You’re a little bigger than you should be for only having one.”

“I said at least one.” Dean sighed a breath of relief as pressure was off his feet and back.

“What are you saying?”

“It’s twins, dumbass.” Dean scoffed.

Cas smirked. “So where does your boyfriend work? Did he move down here with you?”

“Yeah, he knows the owner of the tattoo parlor down the road. He and I both work there.” Dean sat back.

“You’re not working here?”

“No, I can’t, with tattooing, I just need to change my posture and take a few more breaks and I’m good.”

“That’s good.” Cas nodded. “I missed this.”

“Missed what?”

“Being able to just sit and talk with you. Just like in high school.”

“Are you saying there’s a chance we can be best friends again?” Dean beamed.

“I think so.” Cas smiled as they both heard little feet storm into the door.

“Daddy!” Nathan squealed holding a piece of paper. “Look Daddy!”

Nathan crawled onto the couch and sat in between Dean and Cas. “What do ya got here, Nate?”

“It’s a picture of you, me and Keely.” Nate looked up at his father. “See that’s you with the babies in your tummy, and that’s Keely with her drawing book, and that’s me.”

“I see that, shrimp. How about we go put that on Charlie’s desk so everyone in Grandpa work and his customers can see the little artist you are.”

Nathan hopped off the couch and Dean slowly made his way up and waddled over to the desk. “Is Charlie going to like my drawing?”

“Of course she will love it. She loves all the art you send her and give her.” Dean placed it against a paper weight and turned and looked down at the little boy.

“Daddy?” Nate gestured for Dean to come closer.

Dean huffed out a breath of air and crouch down on the balls of his toes and Nathan whispered in Dean’s ear. He chuckled. “Nate, this is my friend Castiel, you can call him Cas.”

“Hi, Cas.” Nate walked over to the couch and stretched out his hand towards the older man.

“Hi, Nathan.” Cas smiled and took the small boy’s hand.

Nathan turned to Dean who was still crouch on his toes. “Can I go back to Uncle Sammy and Aunt Jess?”

“Sure, Champ.” Dean smiled as he dashed out of the room. Cas stood and walked over to Dean.

“Need help?”

Dean laughed. “What gave it away?”

“The big huff of air right before you lowered yourself a few inches above the ground.” Cas stretched out his hand towards Dean. “On three, one…two…three.” Cas pulled up and Dean lifted.

Cas and Dean both laughed when Den was up right. The front door opened and this time their were three people entering. “Daddy, you still here?”

“Munchkin.” Dean smiled and Keely walked over to hug her father. “How was it shopping with Mom.”

“I told her she didn’t have to call me mom if she didn’t want to.” Jo answered.

“I’m not going to call you Jo, you were my mom for as long as I can remember.” Keely replied.

“I had just rode up behind him at the time I told you I’d be off work.” The bulkier man with a thick southern accent spoke.

“Benny, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Dean after the man kissed Dean and wrapped an arm around him.

“Lemme guess. You’re Castiel.” Benny smiled.

Cas blushed. “How—“

“Dean is always talkin’ bout this blue eyed beauty back here in Kansas. He told me all about you from back when you were youngens to when you had a fall out.”

It was Dean who blushed this time. “Benny…stop… That’s not true.”

“It’s mostly true. It was also how you said Castiel had these bright blue eyes. Nathan has those same color eyes.”

Keely looked at Cas and smiled. “Hi, Mr. Novak.”

“Hello Keely. You’ve grown.”

“Like a weed.” Dean retorted.

“Daddy!” Keely scoffed.

“You’re 14, right?”

“Yeah, I started high school in September.” Keely smiled softly. “I’ll be going to the Lawrence High after break.”

“I remember Lawrence High. Your dad and I graduated from there.”

“I’m going to kindergarten.” Nathan exclaimed pointing his thumb at his chest. Dean gave a hearty laugh and Benny smirked.

“Alright, kiddos, it’s time to be heading home. Go stay goodbye to Grandpa, Uncle Sam, Aunt, Jess, and Charlie.” Dean said and clapped his hands together.

Keely and Nathan ran off. “I’ll go start the car.” Benny patted Dean’s shoulder.

“Can I talk with you Dean?” Jo asked. Dean nodded and they walked off to another room leaving Cas alone. Dean and Jo were still gone by the time Benny came back.

“Jo steal Dean from you?” Benny smiled.

“Well, she just wanted to speak with Dean for a moment and they have been gone for a while.” Cas looked at his watch.

“Happens all the time. She will call and Dean and her will speak for hours. Lately that hve been really focused on the twins.”

“Are they still pretty close?”

“I guess, like good friends close. I mean Jo treated Keely like a daughter until she was almost 10.”

Dean walked into the main room. “Good bye, Jo. Talk to you later.” Dean huffed. “Keely, Nathan, let’s go.”

“It’s good meeting you Benny. Hope you see you again.” Cas smiled and looked over to Dean.

“You should come over for dinner one nght before they head off to school again.”

_“That sounds fun.” Cas smiled and they left. Once that group drove off Cas got in his car and drove to his same old apartment and sat on the couch._

_Oh Boy_

**_***_ **


	11. Chapter 11

Cas knocked on the door of a lovely little one story duplex. It was just the right size to fit a family of four. Kelly opened the door. “Hi Mr. Novak.” She smiled.

“Hello, Keely.” Cas smiled and stepped into the house.

“Dad’s in the kitchen fixing supper.” She walked away.

He walked through the living room towards the kitchen where he heard a crash and glass shatter. “Dammit.” Dean blurted out.

Cas hurried into the kitchen with Keely hot on his heels. “Dean?” Cas spoke as he entered the room.

“Cas, I wasn’t expecting you here until later.” Dean said looking flustered with one hand on his back and the other gripped his stomach.

“What happened in here?” Cas walked over to where he heard the glass break.

“I knocked my glass and it plus a few plastic cups dropped.” Dean said slowly bending over to reach for the cups on the ground. Cas quickly scooped them up and set them on the counter. “I could have gotten that.”

“No, you go back to cooking. I’ll get the glass.” Cas smiled taking the towel hanging of the oven handle and picking up the bigger piece of glass.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can do it perfectly fine.” Dean said as he grabbed the broom.

“No way, after watching you try to pick up a fork Nate dropped off the floor last week, or the week before that where you got on your hands and knees to check under Nates bed for monster and couldn’t get back up, or two weeks before that when you did something similar to this but you were not going to let me help you and you end up complain about your back and I did it anyway.” Cas said as he swept up the last of the glass.

“You come over to much.” Dean pouted.

“Nobody liked a pouter, Dean.” Cas smiled. Dean walked over to a chair and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

“Run down.” Dean groaned.

“You’re like 8 months along, right? It shouldn’t be much longer since you’re with twins.”

“Yeah, can’t wait for them to be with their rightful parents.” Dean smiled.

“I found out yesterday that Crowley is moving back down here. He sold his mom’s business to her brother so he can resume his reality business.”

“That’s great.” Dean smiled then stood and got out four plates.

Cas cocked his head. “Benny not coming in until later?”

“Umm.” Dean sighed. “Benny’s not coming home tonight. He’s staying the night at his friend for a while.”

“How long is a while?”

“He moved out.” Dean whispered. “We broke up. He said something about getting bored and not having sex in months. Go figure, I’ve been a little pregnant the past few months and my morning sickness didn’t go away until right before I moved here.”

“I’m so sorry. Do Keely and Nathan know?” Cas whispered.

“Keely knows. Hell she heard the whole thing go down.” Dean looked up at the ceiling holding back hormonal tears. “Dammit…My damn hormones have been everywhere and I cried on her shoulder for two days.”

“And Nathan?”

“I don’t think he understands. I mean he’s five. Benny’s actually driving back down to his hometown in Louisiana as we speak.” Dean wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Dean.” Cas stood and hugged his best friend. “If there’s anything I can do…”

“Actually, there is one thing.” Dean mumbled.

“What is it? You name it and it done.” Cas smiled, placing his hand on Dean’s shoulders.

“Can you be there in the room with me when I deliver the twins?”

Cas’s smiled faltered. “Really?”

“I’m not going to let Sammy, Keely, or anybody see me that vulnerable, except you.”

“What about when Keely and Nathan were born? Who was there with you then?” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Those are funny stories. For right now, long stories short, Keely was born in my bathtub in my old apartment on a Saturday afternoon , while Jo was working at a bar for extra cash. Nathan was born on a gurney rolling up to labor and delivery.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

“How the hell did that happen?”

“Both my labors were precipitous labors. They were quick and painful, I’ve bene told that they are more painful than normal labor.” Dean started setting the table. That makes me kinda looking for to a normal labor, but you never know I might be stuck with another case of precipitous labor.”

“Those aren’t common though.” Cas rose an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m special.” Dean gave a sarcastic smile. “I have a roomy pelvic bone, says my doctor.” Cas nodded. “So is that a yes?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Cas smiled.

“Have you and Crowley thought about adopting or what not?” Dean pulled the food out of the oven.

“Not while he has been in Scotland, but now that he is coming back, maybe we can start talking. I mean I froze some of my sperm and Crowley some of his eggs.”

“So surrogacy?”

“Yeah.” Cas nodded.

Dean walked to the kitchen doorway. “Soups on, get it while it’s hot.”

“Dean, you’re really good with kids. You’re doing a great job with Keely and Nathan and you’re a single parent.”

Dean snorted. “Jo helped me raise Keely until she was almost ten. She was only enough to do most things by herself. When Nathan came around I had her to help me out and then Benny. I haven’t really been a single parent yet.”

Keely walked into and sat down and Nathan was close behind. They sat down and said grace and the night went on flawless.

_*** &^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$#%^&*** _

It was the middle of the night. Cas had to be at school early in less than three hours, that meant it was 3 in the morning. Somebody was calling him. He didn’t even look at the caller ID before accepting the call and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?” He rasped heavy with sleep.

“Cas? It’s Dean.”

“Dean, it’s the middle of the night…”

“I think I’m in labor.”

“You think?” Cas sat up.

“I’ve never had a normal labor. The contractions on fifteen minutes apart, I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll be over in 20 minutes. Hang in there.” Cas ran a hand down his face. “Stay calm.”

“Ok.” Dean responded and hung up. Cas looked over at the man on his left side.

“Come on, let’s go.” Crowley smiled.

“What? What are you talking about? I want you to stay here and rest. You’re still jet lagged.”

“Honey, I’ve been home for a week. I start back Monday. Dean is going to need someone to watch the kids while he is gone. He isn’t thinking rationally. I drive home if I’m not needed and you’ll still have Dean’s car.”

“The contractions are only 15 minutes apart. We will be there all day.”

“Then I guess I will learn a lot about Mr. Dean Winchester.” Crowley smiled throwing on something clothes.

_**& ^%$^&*&^%$%^&*(&^%** _

Cas knocked on the door and Dean opened it soon after looking flustered. “Hi.” He huffed.

“Hey, Dean, I brought Crowley so he could watch the kids when I take you to the hospital.”

“Oh right, kids, I have those.” Dean panted stepping back letting them in. “Make yourself at home. We’re going to be here a while I just know it.”

_******* _


	12. Chapter 12

“Ow, ow, ow.” Dean groaned. “That’s a contraction. There is it.” Dean gripped both sides of his belly as he sat on the couch cross legged.

“You’re doing great, just ride it out.” Cas encouraged

“Not use to this slow build.” Dean panted. “Usually I’m already holding the baby in my arms at home from the hospital.”

“How bad is the pain?” Cas asked as he sat down beside Dean.

Dean uncrossed his legs and began to stand up. “Pretty bad, they hurt like a bitch.”

“They are only 7 minutes apart. Once they get to 2 or 3 minutes we can head over to the hospital.”

“I think I’d rather a precipitous labor. It might hurt worse, but that shits over in an hour.” Dean whined. “I mean I started labor at 3 in the bloody morning and it now it’s 3 in the fucking afternoon and I’ve barely even progressed any. The only thing that has progressed is my annoyance level.”

“Just calm down, this is all normal.” Cas stood and guided Dean back to the couch. “Relax.”

Dean turned to sit down when a contraction hit him hard. He gripped Cas’s biceps and shoved his face into Cas’s chest and groaned loudly. “Ffffuuucck.”

Cas sat him down on the couch and Dean leaned all the way back with his eyes closed his tilted his head back and gritted his teeth. Cas took Dean’s hand and the pregnant man squeezed tightly. “You’re doing great. Just breathe.”

“Nngh—“ Dean chocked out into a grunt/cry. “That’s not good.”

“What’s not good.” Cas asked touching Dean’s hard middle.

“My water broke. That’s mean hospital right?” Dean blinked at Cas.

“It does. Let’s get you into some new pants and then grab your stuff and head to the hospital.” Cas helped Dean up.

Within 5 minutes they were on the road. They weren’t even out of the neighborhood before Dean’s contraction started happening again. “Bloody fuck!” Dean exclaimed gripping the hand rail. “Not fun! Not fun!”

“When has labor ever been fun?” Cas smirked trying to lighten the mood.

“Shut up!” Dean groaned. “Fuck!”

“Oh, when Keely or Nathan aren’t around you turn into a sailor; just throwing cuss words around.”

“You’re catching on.” Dean hissed.

Cas pulled out his phone. “Hey, Crow, I’m taking Dean to the hospital. You’re on your own for a little while.”

“Great, I’ll get to know Dean kids a little better.”

“Talk to you later.” Cas hung up and called the hospital to get a room ready. Dean hissed and groaned. “Doing ok?”

“No! This hurts!” Dean rubbed his palm in circles on his belly.

“We’re almost there. Hold tight.” Cas rubbed Dean’s belly gently.

Within ten more minutes they pulled into a parking space close to the entrance. Cas ran to Dean’s side of the car and helped him out and Dean kept a tight grip on Cas’s arm as they walked towards the entrance.

Dean placed his hands on the counter and leaned forward and let out a moan. Cas rubbed his back and smiled at the lady at the front desk. “Hi, I called a couple minutes ago.”

“The rom for the expecting Dean Winchester and you must be Castiel Novak?”

“Yeah.” Cas glanced over at Dean, who had his eyes closed and head down.

“His first time?” The nurse asked.

Dean lifted his head. “Third and fourth.” Dean answered.

The nurse smiled and nodded. “Let me go check on your room and I’ll be back in a flash.”

Dean groaned and walked over to the chair and slowly made his way into the seat. “I hate this.”

“You’re doing good so far.” CAs took Dean’s hand.

_**& ^%$#%^&*^%$%^&*^%$** _

“Ok, remember when we were in fifth grade and that douche shoved me into the basketball pole giving me a bloody nose and you punched him so hard you knocked him out and he was unconscious for half an hour.” Cas laughed sitting Indian style on the hospital bed with Dean who was doing the same.

“That was the only suspension I thought was worth it.” Dean smiled. “How about when school first started in 10th grade and everybody was so shocked that you had bulked up and grown.”

“Yeah, everyone thought I did steroids or something.” Cas laughed.

Dean was laughing until a contraction hit. “Tell me more.”

“Ok. Second grade. Second day of school. The skinny twig with thick framed glasses and a star shirt on was sitting alone in the grass named Castiel. The chubby blonde hair, freckles skin, and emerald green eyed young Dean Winchester runs over to the Young Castiel and sits down beside him and introduced himself.”

Dean groaned and Cas repositioned himself and Dean shoved his face into the crook of Cas’s neck.

“Castiel and Dean did that every day until the end of the school year and we hung out every day after school and every day of the summer. We even got the flu at the same time and hung out together even then.”

“God, Cas…” Dean moaned gripping Cas’s shirt.

“I’m right here.” Cas rubbed Dean’s back. “You’re doing great.”

“It hurts.” Dean cried.

“Shhh, shh, just breathe. Ride it out.” Cas said calmly.

“It hurts so bad.” Dean whimpered.

“I know, do you want an epidural?”

Dean took a deep breath. “No, no…”

_**^%$#%^ &*(&^%$^&*()*&^** _

“How is everyone doing?” A woman with a big smile on her face walked in.

“Peachy.” Dean moaned.

The woman looked at Cas. “Well, I don’t believe we have met. I’m Dr. Casey.”

“I’m Castiel.”

“Dean-o, I need to check your progress.” She said as Dean positioned himself. After the checked around she draped Dean’s legs with a blanket. “Looks like it’s gonna be a few more hours. You are at 7 centimeters.”

“Great.” Dean panted.

“You’re doing great. You are free to move around if you would like.” Dr. Casey patted Dean’s leg. “I’ll be back in a few hours to check up on you.”

“Nngh—“ Dean groaned as another contraction hit. He tilted his head back and moaned. “I hate this.”

“I know, you’re so close to the end.” Cas rubbed Dean’s hard belly. “You’re doing so good, Dean.”

“Make it stop!” Dean yelled.

“Just a little longer, bud.” Cas whispered into Dean’s sweaty hair. He hated seeing his friend like this.

_******* _


	13. Chapter 13

“Ow! OW!” Dean yelled. He was on his hands and knees on the bed with his ass in the air. “Fuck!!”

Cas rubbed Dean’s back comfortingly. “You’re doing great, Dean Not much longer.”

“It’s been four hours!” Dean groaned.

“I know, but it’s going to be worth it in the end.” Dean sat up slowly and flipped over to his back and turned on his side. “You wanna walk around?”

“What time is it?” Dean mumbled.

Cas looked at his watch. “8:30.”

Dean buried his face in the pillow for a few seconds before lifting his head. “Thanks for staying with me. I know you had to take off work and Crowley just got back in town…”

“You’re my best friend doing this alone, I’m always going to be here for you.”

_*** &^%$%^&*(&^%$^&*&^** _

“Alright, let’s check on how you’re doing, Dean.” Dr. Casey announced when she walked in.

Dean was sitting up clenching the bed sheet on both sides of him with his head tilted back and eyes glued shut. Cas was running his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Just a little longer, Dean. You’re doing good.”

Dean panted as the contraction tapered off. “Are you good for a moment?”

“Yea…” Dean breathlessly responded.

Dr. Casey checked him out and smiled. “We’ve reached the end, Dean. You are about 9 ½ centimeters, so I’m going to start prepping everything so we can get you moved up to delivery.”

“Thank God.” Dean gasped. 15 minutes later everything was ready for Dean to start pushing…everything except for Dean.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dean.” Dr. Casey smiled.

“No, I can’t…” Dean panted having just finished a contraction.

“Yes, you can, I know you have been wanting to push for hours now.” Cas took Dean’s hand.

“I’m not ready. Things are going to fast.” Dean panicked.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand lightly. “Dean, they are going to come out sooner or later. On the next contraction, squeeze my hand as hard as you can and push.”

Dean nodded and waited until the contraction where he squeezed the life out of Cas’s hand and pushed. “Good, just like that, Dean.” Dr. Casey encouraged.

20 minutes later Dean’s was worn out and crowning. “ARGH! FUCK!”

“Big push, Dean. The baby is crowning.”

Dean brought his chin to his chest and gripped Cas’s hand tightly and pushed with all his might. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“The heads out. Once you get the shoulders out, I can take it from there.”

Dean was determined he pushed one more time and fell limp on the bed as the tiny newborn slid out of him. “Boy or girl?” Dean asked trying to regain his breath for the next one.

“It’s a boy.” Dr. Casey smirked. “And a big boy at that.”

Dean and Cas and both laughed. “Time for number two.” Dean mumbled.

“You’re doing great.”

“You’ve been saying that for hours.”

“But it’s true. I couldn’t do this.” Cas smirked.

“Not as hard as you think…just hurts.”

“I’m not good with pain.”

“Then don’t bottom.”

_*** &^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*()** _

“Alright, Dean, one more push and baby #2 will be out.”

“I’m trying!” Dean yelled as he pushed as hard as he muster. “Fuckk.” He panted as the baby came out.

“Here she is. It’s a tiny baby girl.”

Dean smiled and looked over to Cas. “Call Crowley. Get him to bring Keely and Nathan here with him.”

_**(* &^%$#@$%^&*(&^%$#@$%^&*** _

It was a few hours before Crowley and Dean’s kids came. Dean was sleeping peacefully and Cas was sitting in the recliner watching the two unnamed infants. Dean fell asleep before he had time to name them.

Crowley stepped inside and Cas stood and tapped Dean tightly awake. “Dean, you got some visitors.”

Dean blinked awake and smiled. “Morning…I think.”

“It’s about 7:30 in the morning.” Crowley nodded.

Dean looked at Nathan and Keely. “How were you with Mr. Crowley?”

“He’s cool. He’s gonna be an awesome Dad.” Keely smiled.

“Have you told him, yet?” Crowley asked.

“No, I was waiting for you to get here.” Dean looked over to Cas, who was utterly clueless.

“What are you talking about?” Cas cocked his head to the side.

“I wasn’t being a surrogate for Sam and Jess. I was being a surrogate for you and Crowley.”

Cas shook his head. “No.”

“Yes, darling, shortly after I left to Scotland Dean got ahold of me and we got to talking and I had brought that I miscarried and had a hysterectomy. He suggested doing surrogacy. I told him that was too expensive, we had already frozen your sperm and my eggs, once I thought about I agree and he got pregnant with twins and I decided I wanted to surprise you.”

“So…these twins…that you carried…” Cas pointed as Dean. “They are mine and Crowley’s?” Cas was almost in tears. “You did that for me?”

“Crowley told me how broken up about everything that had happened. You’re my best friend, Cas. I would do anything for you.” Dean smiled.

“But, we don’t have a nursery…”

“Cassie, darling…” Crowley interrupted. “Keely, Sam and Jess have been helping me with the nursery for the boy and girl.”

“Wait, Dean didn’t know the genders until just a few hours ago.” Cas mumbled.

“Yeah, I didn’t know, Crowley did.” Dean smirked.

“Guys, I’m gonna cry.” Cas smiled. “Dean, thank you.”

“What are you going to name them?” Dean asked. “That’s not my job.”

Cas brought his hands to his face. “Oh God, I don’t know. This is all happening all too fast. I mean less than 2 minutes ago I find out their mind but 30 hours ago I was sound asleep not thinking about labor or anything.”

“Well, they do say that sometimes your gut instinct is the best. How about you think of the girl’s name and I think of the guys.”

Cas nodded. “Lela…Lela Mackenzie.”

“That’s a sweet name.” Dean smiled. “You should pick her up and hold her.”

Cas looked flustered for a moment as he looked at the two babies. “Which one is she?”

“The one in pink ya dummy.” Dean softly laughed.

“I think a good name for the boy would be Matthew Carter.” Crowley smiled as Cas lifted the girl into his arms.

“Dean you should hold one of them. You’ve only held them for a few second when they were just born so Dr. Casey could deliver the after birth and cut the cord.”

“That’s the point, Cas. I don’t want to get too attached to them. It’s better if I just watch them. I’ve already signed away my rights to these infants, they are not mind, but yours and Crowley’s.”

“No, I won’t have that. I want these two to grow up knowing that Papa and Daddy couldn’t have kids so Uncle Dean had them. I want you to be involved in their lives.” Cas preached.

“Cas, the last time I got involved in your life I almost ruined your relationship with Crowley, and ruined my relationship with—“

“No, you being gay ruined your relationship with Jo.” Cas pointed out.

“it ruined my relationship with Benny…” Dean mumbled.

“I’m going to take Keely and Nathan down to the cafeteria for some breakfast.” Crowley ushered the kids out of the room.

Cas set the baby girl down back in her bassinet. “What are you talking about?”

“Benny was ok with me being a surrogate for a friend of mine. He was ok with the fact that I had two kids from another man. He was ok with moving to Lawrence. He wasn’t ok with me being pregnant with same man’s babies who had my other to kids with. He wasn’t ok with I was still friends with you since I told him we had a fall out when I left Lawrence years ago. He wasn’t ok with you going over all the time, when most of the time you came over I invited you. He stormed out of the house asking me one question before he left. “Do you love him more than you love me?” and I didn’t respond. That was a good enough answer for him. I haven’t talked to him since.” Dean let a single man tear escape.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“For what?” Dean mumbled. “There’s not going to be a good answer to that.”

“You’re right, but I still want you to be involved in my children’s lives, because you gave birth to them and you’re my best friend.”

Dean nodded. “You and Crowley are going to make excellent Dads.”

“Nothing compared to how good of a Dad you are to Keely and Nathan.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m barely getting by.”

“Start working back at your Dad’s garage. He expanded and is bringing in my money you could probably get paid more than working at the tattoo parlor.”

“I’ll think about it but right now, I’m exhausted and so are you.” Dean hunkered down in the hospital bed.

“You did good, Dean. I’m really proud of you.” Cas smiled.

“Thanks, Cas. Now, get some rest.” Dean closed his eyes. Cas walked over to the recliner and curled up in a ball. At this point any spot was a good place to sleep. They both fell asleep almost instantly and didn’t even wake up when Crowley and the kids came back up saw they were asleep and walk out. The best sleep they gotten in a while.

_******* _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: May be triggering for some people. This is a tearjerker, and we get the whole story of that one night from the beginning of the story. Enjoy and keep your tissues close :)

“Alright, Keely’s birthday is in a few days, we need to find her something awesome.” Dean smiled.

“Daddy, Can I get something?” Nathan asked pulling on Dean’s shirt sleeve. “Please, Daddy?”

“If you help me and Mr. Crowley find something Keely a birthday present. Then I’ll think about it, you have to be a good boy.” Dean took Nathan’s hand as they walked down the girl section of store.

“What do you think Keely will like, Nathan?” Crowley asked.

“Something pink. She loves pink.” Nathan smiled. “She always wears something pink.”

Dean laughed. “I tried so hard for her favorite color to be something other than pink, but she loves that color and of course her 15 birthday party so wants all girly, pink, and glittery.”

“Are you going to give her the birthday party she wants?” Crowley smiled picking up a pink frilly scarf.

“Hell Yes, she’s my princess, of course I’m going give her the pinkest girly damn birthday party ever.” Dean smiled and saw a mother glare at him. He looked over at her. “Can I help you?”

“You should use that language in front of a child.” She tisked.

“Do I look like an average Joe father over here?” Dean gestured to his tattooed arms and lip ring. “Mind your own damn business and raise your kids the way you want.”

“I would never speak such foul language in front of a child. I have a 7 and 4 year old at home, they are heavily influenced by my actions.” She scoffed.

“Yeah, well, I have a 5 year old right here and a 14, almost 15 year old at home. I know what the fuck I’m doing, so but out lady.” Dean growled. “Come on, Nate, Crowley, let go shop in a different section.”

Once they were out of earshot of that lady, Dean lifted Nathan onto his hip and looked him in the eye. “Nate, remember what Daddy said about the way I speak versus the way you need to speak.”

“Yes, Daddy, those are bad words. I can’t use them until I’m an adult.” Nathan nodded.

“Good boy.” Dean smiled and ruffled his hair before setting him back on the ground and taking his hand. They walked off again and collected stuff for Keely’s birthday. They were walking out of the store two hours later. “Thanks for coming Crowley.”

“No problem. You’re Cas’s best friend. You had my babies, Cas insisted that you be a part of their lives. You’re a nice guy and I wanted to get to know you more.” Crowley smiled.

Crowley pushed the cart while Dean walked Nathan across the parking lot then it happened. A shot was fired and Dean whipped over to a man with a gun head towards the store entrance where they were. There was another shot and Dean felt a sudden blinding pain under his collarbone on his left side. Adrenaline coursed through his veins that caused him to still be standing. On pure instinct he shielded Nathan and looked over to Crowley. He was a little bit ahead of them. Crowley was staring right at Dean. He ran over to Dean and there was another shot fired. Crowley froze in his place and collapsed to the ground. Then man with the gun was tackle and Dean ran over to Crowley. “Crowley! Crowley!”

Crowley grabbed Dean’s shirt. “Dean…”

“No, no, I’m right here.” Dean looked up. “I need an ambulance!”

A few people ran over to him with shock expressions. “Sir, you’re bleeding.”

“Don’t mind me. I need help with him.” Dean looked at Crowley who was staring up at him in pain. Dean could see the gun shot exit wound right under his rib cage. He was shot in the back. “Crowley, you’re going to be ok. I’m not going to leaving.” Dean panicked with tears in his eyes. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“Dean…it’s—it’s no use.” Crowley mumbled a trickle of blood left his mouth. “Thanks…for everything.”

“No, no, don’t say things like that. You’re gonna be just fine.” Dean panicked with tears rolled out of his eyes.

“Tell Cas I love’em.” Crowley took a shaky breath.

“No, no, you’re gonna go to the hospital and get patched up. You’re gonna be perfectly fine and Cas will see you there.” Crowley coughed and stared up at Dean. He was choking on his own blood. “No, no, no, Crowley, no, no, don’t leave Cas. Cas needs you. He loves you. No, no, no.” Dean cried. He heard sirens and lifted his head. He saw Nathan standing by the shopping cart clinging onto it terrified.

An ambulance drove up to Dean and Crowley. Dean watched the life leave Crowley’s eyes as the slowly closed and his body went limp. Crowley’s had rested in Dean’s lap and blood pooled around Dean’s leg, staining the jeans. Dean looked down at his gunshot wound and it was still bleeding pretty bad. A paramedic ran over to them.

Everything was a blur after that. They pulled Dean away from Crowley and they put Crowley in a body bath. Before they had time to talk Dean they noticed the gunshot and Dean collapsed.

He woke up in a hospital room with a scary little boy asleep on the couch. He sat up an groaned. He looked over at his left side and it was all bandaged up. He heard footsteps enter the room. He turned and saw Keely and Cas walking in. Cas’s eye were puffy and red. “Dad, you’re awake.”

“Yeah, How bad am I banged up?” Dean mumbled.

Keely sat down in the chair beside the bed. “The bullet went straight through. Missed everything but muscle.”

Dean nodded and the memories of watching Crowley get shot and die. Tears welded up in his eyes. He looked at Cas. “Cas…”

A tears fell down Cas’s face. “It’s ok, Dean. There’s nothing you could do.”

“I’m sorry.” Dean choked out. “I got shot first and he ran over to me to help e and got shot before he reached me.”

Cas closed his eyes. “It’s ok.”

Dean shook his head. “No, it’s not ok. Crowley’s dead. It should have been _me_. I was pushing the cart moments earlier. If I was still pushing the cart, it would be Crowley sitting here, not me.” Keely got up and moved over to Nathan. “Why am _I_ alive? Why should _I_ be alive? Crowley didn’t deserve to die! It should have been me! What else do I have to live for? Everyone I have ever loved has died, or went to crap! My Mom died, Jo left me, Benny left me, You and I will never been the same as we were in high school. Crowley’s dead. Why am I still breathing?” Dean spat out staring Cas right in the eyes.

“Dean…” Cas mumbled past his tears.

“Why did _God_ choose to save me that night in that motel room over 15 years ago? I wanted to die. Hell, I was 30 fucking minutes away from death, but no, _God_ wanted me to live. I’ve been going with the motions for 15 years, raising my daughter, and then raising my son, trying to find any source of happiness and I can never find _any_ , except the thought of you being happy. That moment when you and Crowley held Lela and Matthew for the first time and I saw the utter joy and happiness in your eyes as you glanced at Crowley , made my heart swell, and now he’s _gone_.” Dean said through his tears.

Cas looked at the ceiling holding back tears. Keely and Nathan walked quickly out of the room to stop hearing Dean yell like this. “Dean, you don’t mean that…”

“You wanna knew the truth? The day I left all those years ago, I left because of my Dad. The reason I stayed with you the whole day and then stayed the night which lead to sex which made Keely…Dad gave me a huge beating the night before. He beat me until I was unconscious. I bottomed with you because I wanted to be with _you_ , but I didn’t want you to see the bruises and the gash going across my back. I wanna to be happy for a little longer. I woke up that night to my phone buzzing. My Dad was fuming mad and told me to get my ass home, so he could bash my head in. I panicked and left, but didn’t go home. I just drove until I thought I was safe. The whole night I watched my phone buzz with calls from you, Sam…Dad. I listened to all the voicemails. Dads were angry and full of threats and curses. Sam were hopeful and understanding, and yours…yours were heartbreaking. I found a motel two weeks later. I kept getting calls from you and Dad. They were both the same as the other times. I answered one of Dad’s phone calls and he threatened to kill me if I didn’t come back. I was going to save him the trouble.”

Cas walked over to Dean’s bed. He wiped his eyes with his hands. He cupped Dean’s face and wiped Dean’s tears. “That wasn’t a fight between you and Jo that day Keely came running to me before school started.”

“No, John came over and Jo got caught in the cross fire. After that beating I told him that he couldn’t control me and I was an adult now. I told him about how I attempted suicide and I was already pregnant with Keely. I told him that was all his fault and something changed in him.”

Cas wiped more tears off Dean’s face. “Everything’s going to be ok, Dean, for the both of us.”

“I wish I could believe that, Cas.” Dean mumbled. He felt Cas’s hands leave his face. “Crowley’s last words were for me to tell you he loves you. He died in _my_ arms with those words as his final breaths. I watched the light go out in his eyes.”

“Everything is going to be ok, Dean. We are going to get through this together.” Cas’s lip quivered. “I’m glad at least you are ok.”

“Why _me_?” Dean stared at Cas.

“There is a reason you’re still breathing. I’m not going to stare a gift horse in the mouth. We are going to get through this. That’s what Crowley would want us to do.”

Dean nodded and Cas kissed his forehead comfortingly. “Thank you.” Dean mumbled softly.

“Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Cas nodded and sat down in the recliner and closed his eyes. Dean did the same. He dreamed of Crowley’s death in slow motion. He saw Nathan watch as his father got shot and then Crowley get shot and die.

_He didn’t get much sleep that night._

**_***_ **


End file.
